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I’ve had the good fortune of viewing every Seinfeld (1989-1998) episode that’s ever aired (thank you NBC and Netflix), and I now find myself gravitating toward the episodes that pertain to running in some capacity.

The most memorable episode that integrates running into the overall story arc well—at least for me—is “The Hot Tub” (October 19, 1995). The tale begins with Jean-Paul, an elite runner staying with Elaine to compete in the famed New York City Marathon.

After meeting Jerry for the first time at Monk’s, he was promptly asked by the comedian why he overslept at the previous Olympics. Jerry thought it might be the snooze button or those pesky A.M. and P.M. buttons.

Jean-Paul quickly told him otherwise: the “separate knob” for the radio alarm led to his prolonged slumber that fateful morning. “Why separate knob? Why separate knob?” he grumbled.

I wonder if Jean-Paul’s series of unfortunate events leading up to his marathon represents Murphy’s Law. You probably know the phrase: “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.”

Murphy’s Law has been criticized as being overly pessimistic while others point out that people tend to mention it only when circumstances in their own life go awry.

Jean-Paul joined the oddball group by way of Elaine, and he encountered many stumbles during the course of the episode. Obviously, Jean-Paul should have spent the majority of his time mentally and physically preparing for the race—not getting caught up in antics. But the episode wouldn’t be funny.

Since Jean-Paul overslept at the last Olympics, I would surmise that his mind was already on edge as he grappled with the embarrassment of missing what was likely the most important day of his professional career. Enter Elaine, an overworked writer experiencing writer’s block for a J. Peterman catalog article.

Sensing her inability to look after Jean-Paul and get him to the race on time, Jerry maneuvered at the right moment to assume responsibility for the increasingly stressed runner.

And there’s George, who took up rampant cursing to connect with his new baseball friends from the Houston Astros. He then proceeded to tell Jean-Paul that’s how they talk in the “major league.” Profanity didn’t bode well for the naïve athlete.

As a result of the cumulative turmoil that built throughout the episode, Jean-Paul overslept again at Jerry’s apartment, but he somehow managed to make it to the race on time. I’m curious who drove him and how they managed the enormous crowds.

In spite of the mental chaos prior to the marathon, Jean-Paul wound up leading the field of very fast competitors. But as Murphy’s Law seems to make clear, anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Nearing the finish line, Jean-Paul ran towards a water stop and accidentally grabbed a cup of Kramer’s scalding hot tea.

In the next scene, there’s a loud scream, so it’s a safe assumption that Jean-Paul threw the tea across his face or doused his sweaty scalp. His high hopes for the race fell apart once again as he entered the fold of four adult misfits.

I know exactly what Jerry was thinking though, as he has muttered the phrase countless times throughout the series. “That’s a shame.” What’s the takeaway for runners from this Seinfeld episode? Is there one?

As I noted earlier, there’s a tendency to buy into Murphy’s Law when stuff goes wrong; conversely, we ignore it when all is well. I believe that runs can go well or turn into a bust on any given day.

The disruption of a rhythmic routine increases the likelihood of a lousy run. For instance, Chinese food the night before a long run or race, along with minimal sleep and mental stress, will probably translate into a dismal pace, tired legs, and a trip (or two) to the portable toilets.

I paint this picture from personal experience as I have endured my share of contemptible runs and crap races.

I feel for Jean-Paul. His New York City Marathon went anything but according to plan. Though it’s not disclosed in the episode, I’d like to think that he finished the race in spite of his encounter with Kramer’s hot tea.

For his next marathon, assuming he still ran professionally, I hope he opted for a five-star hotel and a wake-up call from the wake-up guy. Everything went well in that next 26.2 race, and he qualified for the Olympics again. Jean-Paul refuted Murphy’s Law that day and broke the tape.

Unless he didn’t.

I hope you have a great day. We’ll talk soon.

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Photo courtesy of Nik Shuliahin

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Hill & Dale Issue 15 | Jean-Paul & Murphy's…