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On February 29, 2020, a talented field of fast runners converged on Atlanta for the Olympic Marathon Trials. Galen Rupp finished first among the men (2:09:20) while Aliphine Tuliamuk edged out Molly Seidel in the women’s field with a 2:27:23.
Ms. Seidel, who hails from Hartland, Wisconsin, and ran for the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame, finished in 2:27:31. Eight seconds behind Tuliamuk—in her first 26.2 race.
For some amateur context, my personal best at the Publix Atlanta Marathon, which features a hilly route similar to the 2020 Trials course, stands at 3:17:10.
After qualifying for the women’s Olympic team, Seidel finished sixth at the 2020 London Marathon in October before acquiring a shiny bronze medal ten months later in Tokyo under harsh heat. She felt the burgeoning scrutiny after the Atlanta performance though:
“I struggled with this kind of imposter syndrome after the trials, specifically as probably the person no one expected to make the team and the person that got probably the most criticism like: Hey, why is this girl on the team?”
Still, disclosures like that embody why so many runners, professional and amateur alike, respect Seidel. She’s willing to be transparent and vulnerable as a professional runner and a human being.
For instance, Seidel publicly posted her runs on Strava for years to connect with fans, but decided in April to make most of her activities private for the sake of “my own safety and sanity.”
On a related note, I don’t know why new Strava account privacy settings for people over the age of eighteen default to “everyone” instead of “only you.” I think privacy settings should default to private at setup, but that’s another conversation.
“I think the greater accessibility and openness is cool, but at the same time we need to protect ourselves,” said Seidel. Indeed, privatizing Strava activities facilitates physical safety from overzealous fans. I applaud her efforts to navigate the tension of transparency and privacy that underscore social media.
As someone who started therapy earlier this year, I further appreciate Seidel’s willingness to be open about therapy and the vital importance of mental health in light of the past three years. On June 14, she stated on Instagram that she planned to skip the New York Mini 10K due to pending approval for a medication.
Seidel began taking Adderall to manage anxiety, eating disorders, and “get the quiet functioning brain in my day-to-day life that I could previously only achieve with intense physical activity.”
Like Seidel, I find solace in a run. I find the hazy thoughts that need clarity; I find the angst that needs a cardiovascular balm; I find the tears that need a prayer; and I regularly find the anger that needs a release through music.
In short, running can aid therapy—but it’s not therapy. Therapy is therapy.
“Mental health takes work,” adds Seidel in her post about skipping the 10K. For years, I viewed running as therapy, but the pandemic finally wrecked that perception for good.
In March, I finally responded to the recurring question of people who loved me: “Have you thought about therapy?” I discovered a therapist through Better Help, and, like Molly, I’m (slowly) becoming a better version of myself.
I hope you have a great day. We’ll talk soon.
NOTE: Seidel finished Sunday’s B.A.A. Half Marathon in 76:22. “It’s the first race I’ve done in a year that I’ve been fully pain-free. For the first time in months I’ve actually lined up and been excited to be there and happy to be running,” she said on Instagram about her return to racing.
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Photo courtesy of Florian Schmetz